Nakon što smo ispucali svu pirotehniku, ako isključimo ambijentalne zvukove, u Beogradu je opet poprilična tišina. Koncerti – muk. Događaji – muk. Festivali – muk. Žurke - muk. Premda se žmurke nekad poigramo. Uglavnom se žmuri na jedno oko i nema baš svako pravo učešća, pa nemam puno iskustva da vam pričam o toj igri. Mogao bih možda o tajnim žurkama proturiti po koju, mada to tajno, najbolje po zdravlje vašeg autora da ostane neraskrinkano. 

Milion i osamsto hiljada vakcina nam je firer obećao u decembru. Stiglo je par hiljada, i ovim tempom, da ne bude uroka, do 2054. svi ćemo se vakcinisati. Do tada se valja snaći. Pa valjda smo mi Balkanci prvaci u bubošvabijanju. Preživeli smo i gore. Mijatovićevu prečku i "No Name" na Evroviziji, na primer.

After we fired all the pyrotechnics, if we exclude the ambient sounds, there is quite a lot of silence in Belgrade again. Concerts - silence. Events - silence. Festivals - silence. Parties - silence. Although we sometimes play hide and seek. You mostly squints at one eye and not all of us have the right to participate, so I don't have much experience to tell you about that game. I might be able to talk about secret parties, which, although secretly, is best for the health of your author to remain undisclosed.

The Führer promised us one million and eight hundred thousand vaccines in December. A couple of thousand arrived, and at this rate, so that there would be no spells, by 2054 we would all be vaccinated. Until then, you have to manage. Well, I guess we Balkans are the champions in cockroaching. We survived worse. Mijatović's crossbar and "No Name" at Eurovision, for example.

Iako obe profesije trenutno spadaju u poslove visokog rizika, godina pandemije izrodila nam je, ipak, daleko više fotografa nego DJ-eva. Inače pandan profesije mrzitelja standardnog radnog vremena. Zanesenjaci, zaljubljive prirode. Kakvom ništavnom sloju i sam pripadam. Često to samo budu i preduzimljivi bivši konobari koji su skupili dovoljno bakšiša za telo s objektivom, ili poštenu miksetu i laptop, za otisnuti se u novi, obećani život. Kakvom ništavnom sloju pak ne pripadam.

Uprkos činjenici da su ove godine profesije programera, veb dizajnera i ostalih sajber inženjera i stručnjaka u oblasti digitalnog marketinga odneli više fizički aktivnih života nego ikada ranije, izgleda da i, nasuprot njima, lepršavi travel blogeri nisu više nezaposleni na birou rada. Jeste da je pisanje passé i ljudi ne čitaju više teksta od onog u opisu instagram post-a i sastojaka gumenih bombona, ali hej, uvek možemo okačiti motivacionu poruku ispod fotografije. Alternativa je vlogovanje. Video prezentacija putešestvija, sa naratorom u prvom licu koji prepričava svoj utisak. Ukoliko još uvek ima onih koji nikada nisu bili na jezeru Perućac i tvrđavi Golubac sada postoji toliko različitih, a opet nekako sličnih klipova o pomenutim destinacijama da praktično ne morate ni da odete na jednu. 

Although both professions are currently high-risk businesses, the year of the pandemic has spawned far more photographers than DJs. Otherwise the counterpart of the standard-time hater profession. Enthusiasts, of a loving nature. What an insignificant layer I belong to. Often it's just enterprising former waiters who have collected enough tips for the body with the lens, or for a good mixer and laptop, to embark on a new, promised life. I don't belong to any insignificant layer.

Despite the fact that this year the professions of programmers, web designers and other cyber engineers and experts in the field of digital marketing have taken more physically active lives than ever before, it seems that, in contrast, fluttering travel bloggers are no longer unemployed at the labor office. It’s true that writing is passé and people don’t read more text than the one in the description of the instagram post and the ingredients of the gummy candies, but hey, we can always hang a motivational message below the photo. The alternative is vlogging. Video presentation of the trip, with a narrator in the first person who retells his impression. If there are still those who have never been to Lake Perućac and the Golubac Fortress, now there are so many different, and yet somehow similar clips about the mentioned destinations that you practically don't have to go to one.

Štaviše, od kada je bestidno pornovinarstvo u modi, ni mene nije sramota to što ja tu kao nešto pišem i to što kao neko to objavljuje. Ne viri mi cena na stavu, furam hladnu glavu i rasparanu postavu i ne ložim se da umem. Bar ne ono što ne umem. 

Nego kako dešavanja i dalje nema, ispričaću jedno moje. Lično beogradsko dešavanje. Ala Lexperience. 

Nikad nisam napravio veći uvod da bih opisao kako sam upoznao jednog Ljubišu. Možda zato što nikada do sada nisam upoznao ni jednog Ljubišu. Možda uostalom, i zato što jedan Ljubiša, poput ovog, našeg Ljubiše, zaista zaslužuje ovoliki uvod.

Moreover, since shameless porn-journalism has been in vogue, I am not ashamed of the fact that I write here something and that it publishes it by someone. I don't care about the price of my attitude, I wear a cold head and a torn lining and I don't lie to myself. At least not what I can't.

As there are still no events, I will tell one of mine. Personal Belgrade event. Ala Lexperience.

I have never made a longer introduction to describe how I met one Ljubiša. Maybe because I've never met a single Ljubiša before. Maybe, after all, because Ljubiša, like this one, our Ljubiša, really deserves such an introduction.

Ljubišu sam upoznao na Vidikovačkoj pijaci. Solidna jedna pijaca. Ima sve što ti treba. Daleko mi je taman toliko da me mrzi da odem. Nekih 130 sekundi hoda. Taj neki dan me nije puno mrzelo. Bilo je suđeno valjda. Ljubiši i meni. Dan nikakav. Bljuzgav, kaljav, hladan, maglovit... Ma savršen.  

Ljubiša prodaje suve šljive. Bio je nešto vala zavučen između onog jednog čove s baterijama i sijalicama i ribarnice sa druge strane. Dan je bio bedan, ali ne i Ljubiša. A ne! Galami bratina, razmahao se, nit sitnijeg tipa, nit veće ekstenzije ruku. Plesači bi otkinuli na gipkost. Reko', kod njega ću! Da me razveseli. Takvi tipovi me uvek razvesele. Tako i bi.

- Izvol'te mladiću!  Zaurla na mene ispod one šubare, nabijene taman do spojenih obrva, tako da se teško razaznaje granica gde jedno počinje, a drugo se završava.\

• Suve šljive bih ja, rekoh.\
• Dobro je, dok nije Afrička, hehe! Šali se Ljubiša malo! Meni nikad nisu trebale... Četiri ćerke, bato moj!"\
• U, svaka čast! Odgovorih, bez lažnog rispekta... 

Čovek je stvarno bio toliko nerealno vrckast i energičan, a dan nikad usraniji.

I met Ljubiša at the Vidikovac market. A solid market. It has everything you need. I'm so far away that he hates me to leave. Some 130 seconds of walking. I didn't hate myself that much the other day. It was destiny, I guess. Ljubiša and myself. Not my day. Slimy, muddy, cold, foggy…just perfect.

Ljubiša sells prunes. There was a wave tucked between that one man with the batteries and light bulbs and the fish market on the other side. The day was miserable, but not Ljubiša. Nope! Bro shouts, he waved, neither a smaller type, nor a larger arm extension. Dancers would tear at the flexibility. I said, I'll visit him! To cheer me up. Such guys always cheer me up. So it would be.

- Here you go, young man! He yelled at me from under that hat, tucked right up to her joined eyebrows, so that it was difficult to distinguish the border where one begins and the other ends.\

• I would like to buy some prunes, I said.\
• It’s good, as long as it’s not African, hehe! Ljubiša is joking a little! I never needed… Four daughters, my brother!\
• Uh, congratulations! I answered, without false respect…

The man was really so unrealistically wiggly and energetic, and the day has never been more shitty.

Usledila je rafalna paljba pitanja - odakle sam i slično, što mi uvek dođe kao najteže za odgovoriti.
Kupio sam ga već kod "stari mi je vojno lice". Oduševljeno je odskočio od zemlje, kao mačka kad je uplašiš, da mi pokaže gde ga je zakačio metak '93.  

Tu je on na pijaci svaki dan od šest, kaže. Pitam se kad se budi. Složili smo se da neću zapamtiti kako se zove to selo kod Uba odakle je on. 
I nisam. 
Nije ni on čuo za Goločelo, tako da smo kvit.

There was a burst of questions - where am I from and the like, which always comes as the hardest to answer. I already bought him from "my old man is a military man". He bounced off the ground enthusiastically, like a cat when you scare her, to show me where the '93 bullet hit him.

He is there at the market every day from six, he says. I wonder when he wakes up. We agreed that I would not remember the name of the village near Ub where he was from.
And I did not.
He hasn't heard of Golocelo either, so we're the same.

Zapamtio sam samo da me nije ponudio rakijom, iako je sve ukazivalo na prisustvo ljute domaće. I zapamtio sam da mu se žena zove Ceca. Ne pitajte me kako smo došli do toga. Ceca ima brkove. Mislim, nije mi stvarno rekao da Ceca ima brkove, ali tako sam je zamislio. Njegova Ceca mora furati jedan par. Šta?! 
Nije svaka Ceca žena kriminalca. Ovoj Ceci brkovi padaju na gore.

Otišao sam raspoložen. 
Razmišljao sam o Ljubiši taj dan...
Čoveče, kakva želja za životom jednog prodavca suvih šljiva. Voleo bih da znam da li zna nešto što ja ne znam. Kakvu tajnu univerzuma. 
Ljubiša... gospodar života.

I only remembered that he did not offer me brandy, even though everything indicated the presence of angry homemade. And I remembered that his wife's name was Ceca. Don’t ask me how we got there. Ceca has a mustache. I mean, he didn’t really tell me that Ceca has a mustache, but that’s how I imagined her. His Ceca has to rock one pair. What?!
Not every Ceca is a wife of a criminal. This Ceca's mustache is falling up side down (from the song Ceca Raznjatovic - Pile).

I left in a good mood.
I was thinking about Ljubiša that day…
Man, what a desire for the life of a prune seller. I'd like to know if he knows something I don't. What a secret of the universe.
Ljubiša…a master of life.

To sam veče otišao kod Marka. Ne znate vi Marka. Ortak jedan, mojih godina. Gejmer.

Nije još uvek počeo da zarađuje od toga, ali trudi se. Mislim, pika svaki dan po par sati i to.
Mare inače živi sa svojima, tu na Žarkovu. Iako ima ceo svoj sprat, ne slažu se baš nešto poslednjih par godina. Od kad je završio višu Poslovnu, njegovi mu stalno prebacuju oko toga da treba da nađe posao. 
Iako imaju, nije da nemaju! 
Nego treba to ispratiti... Urban je on tip, fura skupe stvari, nađe se uvek Mare da nas počasti i uleti kintu kad zatreba. Posebno je u izlascima as. 

Mislim da ti njegovi matorani izgleda ne mogu da shvate da se Mare nije badava školovao tolike godine da bi radio bilo šta, za neku crkavicu.
Doduše, moj utisak je da ga možda malo i mrzi.  
Mada čeka on pravu priliku, nije da ne čeka.
Požali se i sam, često, kako ne može da nađe neki posao koji mu odgovara i koji je u struci, na kraju krajeva.
Nije mu lako. 
Kuka stalno kako ga voza depra. Anksiozan bude. Smara ga sve. Dosadno...
Teško mu je pala ova godina baš. 
Ćaletu malo zaškripao biznis, nije mogao da ga iscima za kintu za nova kola, a obećao mu je. Poludeo je! Znam da je danima bio besan. Baš mu se raspada onaj Megan.

That evening I visited Marko. You don't know Marko. A buddy of mine, my age. Gamer.

He hasn't started making money from it yet, but he's trying. I mean, playing every day for a couple of hours and so on. By the way, Marko lives with hir family, here in Žarkovo. Although he has entire floor, they haven't agreed on anything in the last couple of years. Ever since he graduated from Business School, his parents have been constantly telling him that he needs to find a job.
Although they have, it's not that they don't!
Check this out…he is an urban guy, loves to rock expensive things, he always finds a way to honor us and pour in a penny when in need. He’s a ace especially when we go out.

I don't think his parents can understand that Marko didn't go to school for so many years to do anything for nothing.
However, my impression is that he may be a bit lazy.
Although he is waiting for the right opportunity, it is not that he is not waiting.
He complained, often, that he could not find a job that suited him and that was in his profession, after all.
It's not easy for him.
He’s always complying about the constant depression. He’s anxious. Always bored. This year has been hard for him.
His dads business creaked a little, he couldn't ask for a penny for a new car, even he promised him. He's crazy! I know he was angry for days. His Megan is just falling apart.

Pokazuje mi stalno tog nekog gejmera, koji živi u jebenoj vili sa bazenom. Sve od igranja igrica.

- Kakav kralj!

Ispričah Maretu priču o Ljubiši žiškici, kad već pomenu kralja. Reko' možda ga motiviše.

- Hahaha, kakva budala! ...Treb'o si mu tražiti instagram od ćekrica da startujemo seljančice.\

• Nego, pikamo NBA a?!\
• Ajde brt.\
• Moj je Majami!\
• Ja ću Denver.

He constantly shows me that gamer, who lives in a fucking villa with a pool. Everything from playing games.

- What a king!

I told Mare the story of Ljubiša, when I already mentioned the king. Thought it might motivate him.

- Hahaha, what a fool! ... You should have asked him for the Instagram username of his daughters to slide in their DMs.\

• Let’s play some NBA2k, huh?!\
• Come on bro.\
• My pick is Miami!\
• I’ll take Denver.

Fotografija: A.walk.with.funky